F a l s e   P r a y e r s

My parents went to the temple every Sunday.
I think it was more
To absolve them of their sins
Of the week. They did not really believe in God.
If they did,
Why had my mother cursed
When she found she was with the fifth child.
Why did my father hit her when
She told him that she was with child
The fifth one
When he was responsible for it more than her.

Why had I been left to cry alone
As they decided to go to the doctor
To try and see if they could get rid of a life
To salvage what was left of their own.
And why did they mouth blasphemies against
Those who said
Plan your kids
So you only have the ones
You really want.

[First published in Surface Online, 2003]